Realizations

I used to get frustrated with the fact that people that I knew who were Christians were not openly and willingly discussing their faith and their walk with God. I wondered, “How can they not talk about it?” and I concluded that “They must not be where they need to be or they would talk about it.”. I look back on my conclusion and I realize that is just one of many reasons. What if instead, they did not speak because they were afraid that other Christians would not affirm them? What if they had experienced silence or condemnation when they had spoken before?

Tonight, I finished up writing in a “journal” of sorts in my Ipod. I was writing a very strong paragraph about who I am in Christ and even though that paragraph contained very strong affirmations of who God says I am, I am reluctant to show it to anyone at all.

My reluctance is not because any of it is wrong, but it is because I am afraid of what people will think. Maybe they will think nothing of it now, but when I’m hurting and disillusioned then maybe they will look back on what I just wrote and they will assume I’ll figure that out again. Maybe they will assume I was wrong in the first place. Or maybe as they read it, they will think of improvements that could be made. Maybe they will say my portrayal of who I am in Christ is not completely accurate. “Where is this part in Scripture?” They might ask?

So for now, my faith is my own. Its so personal and so private. Not that I do not want to share my faith, but because I want to grow stronger in my faith. I want to have confidence in who my Savior is so that I can believe HIM and not “them”. So I can run to His Words that never fail when I read into their silence. I’m training myself to listen to His voice so that when the thief comes, I know to listen for the Shepherd.

Lord, I’m listening for Your voice. I need only Your Words. I want only Your Words until I know that I am trusting You completely. Keep my eyes turned and locked on You. May I be lost in the seconds that pass as I kneel at Your Feet before You say to me “Go, and sin no more.” Lord, meet the desperate needs of my heart for You know those needs better than I myself.
Love,
Your Beloved Daughter,
Melanie 

Advertisements

About Melanie

My Being Purpose Statement: As a part of Christ's Bride and as one of His precious treasures whom He redeemed with His precious blood, I purpose in my heart to love and adore Him with all of my heart, soul, and mind (Matthew 22:37). I want to be beautiful in the sight of my Saviour, Jesus Christ. I will therefore pursue holiness (1 Peter 1:16) that I might worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness (1 Chronicles 16:29, Psalms 96:9) and go and proclaim His love, sacrifice and salvation to others who have not heard that I may have the beautiful feet of them that bring glad tidings of good things (Isaiah 52:7, Romans 10:15). My Life Purpose Statement: I desire to serve my Redeemer and Savior Jesus Christ throughout my entire life by ministering to girls and women. I pray that I will be able to bring many girls and women to the Cross of Christ that they may find salvation from a loving and gracious Savior. It is my heart’s desire to encourage girls and women who know the Savior to deepen their relationship with Him and to fall more and more in love with Him. I also want to serve women by assisting them in their everyday lives whether I am rolling up my sleeves to work alongside them or am connecting them with people, ministries, and or resources that will be helpful and beneficial to them. By God’s grace and power, through His Spirit, and for His glory will I endeavor to fulfill this purpose
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s