If I was my twin and the other “me” was confiding in me about what was in her heart, I know what I would tell her. The answer is easy to say, but then, aren’t answers always easy to say?
But, since I’m not my twin, all I have is two voices in my head. One wants to run from pain, the other is telling me to have faith and head into the storm.
You know what totally stinks? I’m so super good at academic tests. I can whiz through them like no ones business and pass with at least a good grade (if not a fabulous one). But when it comes to God testing me, I flunk so often. I’ve never been afraid of an academic test, but I am absolutely terrified of God’s tests.
I have a natural drive in me that pushes me to do my best, to not settle for anything less. In academia, that helps me to do well. Spiritually, it means the battle is intense. I’m fighting the desire to run away from pain. But I know the consequences of even waiting to do what I know is right could hurt myself and possibly others.
I keep wishing life was easy, but no matter what, it isn’t going to be. I gotta quit wasting my time wishing. Life is hard there isn’t any changing that fact. There is a song that says “Life is hard, but God is good.”