I’ve been thinking about something and seeing myself in a new light. I’ve realized lately that I have a lot of big dreams and deep desires. I will usually try to take action on those dreams or desires to make them a reality, and I often make some if not a lot of progress on achieving or gaining those things.
However, as I sit back and re-evaluate a lot of those things, I see a lot of failure. Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of good things that have come from my endevours, but it seems I have yet to actually accomplish what I set out to do. I get very weary in well doing. I could be very close to reaching my goal or getting my desire, but what usually happens is I settle for something close. I could be in the homestretch able to see the finish line and instead of pushing with the rest of my might, I either quit or just barely make it there. Like I said, I have been blessed because I feel like I have reaped rewards that I do not deserve, but the memories of the process will always haunt me.
So, as I look at a struggle that I feel brewing within my heart and even one that I have written about, I know this time it has to be different. I made a promise that I was trusting God with something and I’m going to keep that promise this time. I am going to stay focused on what it is that He wants me for me. I’m not going to throw in the towel and I’m not going to settle for second best.
People fail all the time; I think a lot of it has to do with our sin nature. We screw up relationships because of our own selfishness. But I want to trust God in the midst of all that because He wants to bind up the brokenhearted. He wants to restore relationships and heal hearts.
This time around, when people fail me, I will trust God. This time around, when I fail me, I will trust God and wait on Him. Previously I went on in my own strength, only to run out of strength before the finish line. But this time, I want to wait on the Lord so He will renew my strength, so I will mount up on wings as eagles, so I will walk and not be faint and so that I will run and not be weary. The trick is keeping my eyes upward while pressing onward.