So I was looking through my previous posts and I came across this draft. How appropriate for today. A godly woman challenged me to go to Christ for a pretty significant need that I was having. I need Him every hour that I have this need and I am getting to feel His goodness wrapping itself around me. What a blessing to feel the presence and activity of God at a time when my heart is hurting. What a humbling experience to know that He could condemn me for my selfishness, but yet, like a Good Shepherd, He wraps me in His arms and carries me.
“O Taste and see that the LORD is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in Him.”!!! Psalm 34:8
(This was a draft from a few months ago.)
As today comes to a close, I realize that I have felt God’s goodness. When I woke up, I really was not looking forward to the day and as I thought about whether or not to go to church this morning I only went because of an ongoing conversation that my friend and I have been having about going to church. To be honest, she has been such a good example lately of being at church even when she hasn’t felt like it. So, as I was laying in bed this morning, I asked myself “What would she do?” and I thought “She would go!” And so, off I was to church!
I was waiting for God to drop something in my lap for getting up and going so that I would actually feel like I made the right decision, but nothing really came. In fact, church was really rather difficult for me because I was feeling so empty. The raw emotion of my heart was hurt, and tears were ready to just flow at a word. As I was sitting through church, I felt God’s presence in the way that His presence just strips me of what little facade I hold onto of being okay! In church, I was just feeling that I was an empty vessel in God’s presence. Not even a usable vessel, just one that He wanted in His presence today.
But, anyways, after church, Luke took me out to eat, which was a surprise and not something I was planning on! We went out with some of his friends and I was able to laugh and just rest without thinking of what had been bothering me earlier that day.
Luke got to go out with the guys, and I headed home to go to sleep before working all night. However, as I laid in bed, again I felt a tug at my heart. As I thought of the people that I really have a burden to connect with, I was realizing that I needed to just go ahead and try to connect. I didn’t want to regret not making a phone call.
The pone call turned into going out for some time with a friend and that time with my friend brought up some really painful memories and yet, those painful memories are now married to the grace of God and so they are bittersweet. God’s grace is unfathomable. I felt His grace and HIS goodness as I reflected on my past struggles. I hope that God can use me to give out His grace. More than anything, I realize that I have been the recipient of a great grace! So many people need His grace!
I was thinking today, how does my faith make me different? What about my life could possibly make people want to have my faith? And I was wondering what it was, God showed me today that it is His grace. My life is different because of His grace. Without it where would I be? I would be a mess, thats for sure!
But anyways, I guess that is kinda everything I’m thinking. I just wanted to blog about it because I have so much that I am thinking!