I’m listening to one of those songs on the “Soundtrack of my Life” (see previous posts if you aren’t sure what I’m talking about). “What Do I Know of Holy?” is definitely one of my favorites.
I posted on Facebook tonight “God, What do You think of me sometimes?” and my heart still honestly wonders. I know He loves me very dearly and I’m resting in that love in so many ways right now, but at the same time, if I could write God a letter this is what I would say:
I miss knowing You the way I get to know the people in my life. I’ve been thinking about Tiffany a lot lately and I was thinking about how I wanted to see her so that we could talk in person. I want to talk to her in person, because I want to see her thinking while she talks. I just am more confident that I understood when I can see her.
But God, I can’t see You! I know that You see my every thought and even the slightest move I make, and I just wonder, what kind of facial expression do You have when You are looking down on me? I know You are never surprised, but I want to know when You smile at me (if You do). And, I want to know when You frown at me. I want to know when You shake Your head at my foolish thoughts. God, I just want to see You, but I can’t.
At least, I can’t see You until Heaven. But, God, when I get to Heaven, can I get the chance to see You and maybe see all these expressions? Or will You be so happy to have all of us with You that all You can do is smile?
God, I guess I miss what I cannot have. You say I’m blessed because I haven’t seen you but I have believed, and while I believe You, I yearn for the blessing of seeing Your face. Seeing You will mean so much someday.