Innate Worth

Lately, I’ve been doing very well in irritating people and upsetting them, as well as being irritated and getting upset.

These happenings tend to make me question my worth as a human being. I was thinking the other day what I would wish for if I was given one wish. At first, I thought that I would love to be invisible, but today I just felt like I would wish that I was never born. I’ve hurt people’s feelings lately and angered them. I know that I have done wrong in the process and I wish I could change it, but I can’t. :(. I sometimes wish I had never been born because if I hadn’t been, I never would have even been able to hurt them.

I feel as tho if I am causing pain to someone, no matter who, then suddenly that takes away from my worth as a human being. After all, we lock people up and even sentence people to death for hurting people, right? Why not me?

I know this sounds dismal, depressing and rather selfish, especially for Easter, but to me it seems kind of important.

You see, I know people who try to protect others from getting hurt by standing in the middle. I know these people are trying to do what is best for everyone, but in the end, I’ve been hurt by the process because I learned that hurting or inconveniencing someone is an abnormal part of life and should be avoided at all costs. Even if the person had hurt you, then you were to blame if you acted upon that hurt.

I am wondering, are those kind of relationships healthy? Is hurt actually that bad? Is sadness and pain and grief needed to avoided with a passion? Should we seek to be always happy and make sure those around us are happy? Why do we always consider hurt, pain and anger bad things?

Relating to my post a couple days ago about reality, it would seem that we should not look at those things as bad things. Of course they aren’t pleasant, but they are reality because we live in a fallen world. I cannot live my life without hurting most of the people I come in contact with. I won’t purpose to do it, but I am sinful and so likely to hurt, disappoint or offend.  Why should I let this tendency affect my knowledge of my worth as a person? If I know that this tendency is reality in everyone, then why am I so worthless because of it?

This year, I feel like I have really discovered some reasons why the Right-to-Life movement is dear to my heart. I feel worthless so often, or at least, I have in the past. Often this feeling is based on a lie that I have believed about myself or about life or about God. I think that the Right to Life movement is important to me because I want to know that I have the right to live. I mean, if a baby or someone on life support can be guaranteed the right to live, then I can be guaranteed it as well! However, if their right to live is threatened, then my right to live is also threatened. If I become an inconvenience, will they kill me?

You see, I am not worthless. That’s the beauty of it. I mean, am I worthless because I have disappointed and hurt God? Even angered Him? No, I am not. I’m loved, forgiven and redeemed. I love the word redeemed because it contains the word deem which means to evaluate an objects worth. I might deem a pair of shoes worth $60, but another pair only worth $5. The prefix re- means again. So, redeem basically means to re-evaluate the worth of an object and to deem it worth buying back. What a concept! I can do nothing to make my redemption happen because the process isn’t based on me or who I am, but rather who God is. I need to be content in this knowledge that He looks at me as His creation that he knit together in my Mother’s womb.


About Melanie

My Being Purpose Statement: As a part of Christ's Bride and as one of His precious treasures whom He redeemed with His precious blood, I purpose in my heart to love and adore Him with all of my heart, soul, and mind (Matthew 22:37). I want to be beautiful in the sight of my Saviour, Jesus Christ. I will therefore pursue holiness (1 Peter 1:16) that I might worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness (1 Chronicles 16:29, Psalms 96:9) and go and proclaim His love, sacrifice and salvation to others who have not heard that I may have the beautiful feet of them that bring glad tidings of good things (Isaiah 52:7, Romans 10:15). My Life Purpose Statement: I desire to serve my Redeemer and Savior Jesus Christ throughout my entire life by ministering to girls and women. I pray that I will be able to bring many girls and women to the Cross of Christ that they may find salvation from a loving and gracious Savior. It is my heart’s desire to encourage girls and women who know the Savior to deepen their relationship with Him and to fall more and more in love with Him. I also want to serve women by assisting them in their everyday lives whether I am rolling up my sleeves to work alongside them or am connecting them with people, ministries, and or resources that will be helpful and beneficial to them. By God’s grace and power, through His Spirit, and for His glory will I endeavor to fulfill this purpose
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3 Responses to Innate Worth

  1. Leann says:

    Wow you’re amazing. I don’t even know you that much but what I do know is that you are beautiful, loving, caring. I understand the way you are saying you feel but I’m thrilled with your last paragraph. We are all here for a reason and no matter what choices we make right or wrong we all have the right to be happy. (((hugs)))

  2. GabbyMel says:

    Aww, Thank you LeAnn! 🙂 Your words of encouragement really are a blessing! More than you know, I really appreciate it! You have to let me know what your blog URL is, because I want to read it! 🙂 ❤ Hugs right back! 🙂

  3. lwilliams77 says:

    I think this is what you asked for. Only read it if you’re bored and ready for bed haha. Like I said, it comes out more like rambling than what I know I mean.

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