Life has been a struggle lately. Sometimes more than just a struggle, sometimes an all out war! But anyways, I suppose that the details of that struggle are not really necessary. If this were a novel, then I would outline them in great detail. The difference between a novel and life is that in a novel, people are actually pursuing the knowledge of the characters. In life, there are times that people either do not care, do not know how to care, or they simply have other things that hinder them from caring. In a novel the characters cannot push the reader away, but in life, it seems often that I push others away. I can kid myself into thinking I am pushing them away for their own good, but in reality I have selfish reasons for doing it.
In life, the ‘should bes’ do not always exist. Just because something “should be” a certain way doesn’t mean that it will be that way. What matters is what really is happening around me. Thus far in my life I believe that I have had my head in the clouds and I have not looked at reality. Instead, I have been busy getting angry because things are not as they should be! I have wasted time.
So, I have decided that I will endeavor to live in reality. While I am not sure that I know exactly what the means, I believe that I am going to try to live in reality. Actually, to be honest, I am rather scared! I am not sure that I will be able to live in reality successfully. But, I guess I should not worry about success just yet. I could just aim for survival for a little bit until I am sure my feet are on the ground :).
Okay, other than that whole topic, like I said before, life has been rough. I am thinking about something though. I wonder which is better: rejection or loneliness? I used to think that rejection was better, but perhaps loneliness is. Or perhaps they go together. After all, can you really be lonely if you haven’t been rejected?
Anyways, it is getting late and I suppose that I should be calling it a day. Much has happened. I don’t know if I can call it a good day or not, still figuring out what this whole reality is all about. Maybe I should have stayed in the clouds!
*edit* I knew there was something I forgot! 🙂 I am wondering, when is it okay to escape from reality? I mean, is it ever okay to just try to escape? What if your escape provides more problems?