While I was attending Summit Leadership Academy, someone put a quote on my desk. The quote brought tears to my eyes because I was in an intense struggle over a sin that I had committed.
You see, I felt that there was one unpardonable sin that I could never commit and live through. I am not really going to explain or go into detail, but this sin was something that at all costs I wanted to avoid. However, I was severely tempted with this sin. The temptations were enticing and the lines were confusing. I went past the protective boundaries I had set for myself and ultimately, I sinned.
Dealing with that particular sin is still hard for me, though the struggle itself has subsided. When I was in Colorado, the struggle was fresh, the wound was open and I was only functioning by pretending it did not exist. However, when I came into the presence of God during worship, I found myself weeping almost uncontrollably. Not only was I weeping, but I was unable to do anything but weep. I wanted to sing and to worship, but I was unable. The words of each song ministered to my heart and touched my heart like a healing balm.
The quote that was left on my desk would also aid in the healing process. The quote reads:
My Lord is more ready to pardon than you to sin, more able to forgive than you to transgress. My Master is more willing to supply your wants than you are to confess them.
C.H. Spurgeon is the author/speaker of that quote, and oh, how it touched my heart. At that particular time, I knew my weakness to sin was so infinite and to know that God was “more ready to pardon than [I was] to sin” put me at peace and again humbled me.
I wanted to share it with you bog readers, because I know the pain that can come from knowing we have disappointed and disobeyed our Heavenly Father. We all have this pain in common, and I hope that everyone can be as comforted by this quote as I was.
2 Corinthians 1: 3-7 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 5For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.6 If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. 7Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort. (ESV)
“And Can It Be” is a great hymn about this topic.
These two verses of “It is Well with my Soul” also really spoke to me during the two weeks I was in Colorado.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul