Back to where I was…

If life is a journey, why do I feel like I’m going in circles? Are the circles wider? Do I go in circles faster than before? I mean, I’m supposed to be making progress, right? Why does this post say everything that I want to say right now? Why? I have so many questions, so many ache-ings. The only difference between then and now is that somehow I can’t bring myself to be as hopeful as before. I want to be, but I’m exhausted. I am tired, oh so tired of fighting to be positive. Fighting to be optimistic and even just fighting to live. I feel like I am sick and dying on the inside because my hope is waning. Why?

Honestly, I think it is because my spiritual life is struggling so much right now. There is so much I want to know about God, and so little time for me to study and find it out. The only thing that I can be grateful for is that I really honestly feel as though I am being held in God’s hands. I may not even feel like I know WHO HE IS, but I feel Him holding me. My faith is honestly hanging on that. This is what means to held.


About Melanie

My Being Purpose Statement: As a part of Christ's Bride and as one of His precious treasures whom He redeemed with His precious blood, I purpose in my heart to love and adore Him with all of my heart, soul, and mind (Matthew 22:37). I want to be beautiful in the sight of my Saviour, Jesus Christ. I will therefore pursue holiness (1 Peter 1:16) that I might worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness (1 Chronicles 16:29, Psalms 96:9) and go and proclaim His love, sacrifice and salvation to others who have not heard that I may have the beautiful feet of them that bring glad tidings of good things (Isaiah 52:7, Romans 10:15). My Life Purpose Statement: I desire to serve my Redeemer and Savior Jesus Christ throughout my entire life by ministering to girls and women. I pray that I will be able to bring many girls and women to the Cross of Christ that they may find salvation from a loving and gracious Savior. It is my heart’s desire to encourage girls and women who know the Savior to deepen their relationship with Him and to fall more and more in love with Him. I also want to serve women by assisting them in their everyday lives whether I am rolling up my sleeves to work alongside them or am connecting them with people, ministries, and or resources that will be helpful and beneficial to them. By God’s grace and power, through His Spirit, and for His glory will I endeavor to fulfill this purpose
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