“Where there is no vision, the people perish:” Proverbs 29:18a
Wow. All I can say is that I cannot believe how God brings the pieces of a life together. It seems that God reveals HIS purposes for my life only every so often. Its not often that I get to see HIS personalized plan for my life. However, at different points in my life He has put clay on my eyes and then told me to wash. Once I am washed clean, then, and only then, can I see clearly.
You see, just like the blind man in John 9 who came to Jesus for healing, I’ve come to Jesus for healing many times. This past time, I could not understand what was going on. I was waiting for a time of “brokenness” to come upon me and for me to just give everything up, but that was NOT God’s plan. Instead, He chose to put clay over my eyes just like He did to the blind man. I had to accept it in faith, that Jesus would heal me, even when he didn’t seem close.
Every time that God grants me an “update” on HIS vision for my life, the past makes even more sense. Today, much more of the past seems to have fallen in place as I reflected on my life.
Tiffany and I had been talking about brokenness, and I’ve always known brokenness to be something that happens at a specific time and place in one’s life, but it was not so for me this time. I feel as though God has gently just touched my heart in a way that has broken it over the course of a half a week. Wednesday was the Stand Strength Team and just their presence in schools made me contemplate how at one time I wanted to live in the ghetto just so I could reach people. Not only that, but how they live what they believe was a reminder of something I had been thinking about not accepting other people’s realities, but rather to accept the TRUE reality. Instead of looking at the world the way I want to look at the world, or the way someone else looks at the world, I need to look at the world the way God does. His reality needs to be my own reality.
Anyways, on Thursday, I passed the SARTA main bus station and I looked at the people there as I sat at the red stop light. My heart was for some reason touched. I longed to be a part of the action, a part of the group of people there, but I wanted to have an influence there so that I might show them the Truth. I was thinking about how God seems to have called me to Canton, OH, to be a part of what HE wants to do in this place. I cried and at the same time I considered quitting my job in order to focus my attention on ministering to the people of Canton, but I did not feel a peace about that option.
Friday, I went to work and just did stuff like normal, but I was emotionally drained and worn out wondering what it was God wanted for me. Wondering if the dreams that I had for myself were not the dreams HE had for me.
Saturday, again was normal for the most part, until the end of the day. Let’s just put it this way, I gained a new appreciation for Raylene after Saturday. :).
On a serious note, however, there was about 14 people from Taco Bell who came to the Stand Strength Team, and they all were hearing the gospel, the Truth, the Reality. And, as I felt God work on my heart, He convicted me about how I relate to people. I do honestly believe that Luke had a LOT to do with why all the people came. Also, during the Saturday night presentation, some of the youthgroup and young adults presented the lifehouse skit, and they did so excellently! It was an accurate presentation of life. Jesus created us to have a relationship with Him, but the Devil wants to distract us from it, and he will do whatever it takes to distract us. But, in the end, if we run to Jesus, He will protect us and bring us back to that perfect relationship.
Sunday, Pastor Shrek preached on faith in the Sunday School hour, and that was very challenging to me! Believing God’s power!!! As the rest of the services went on I was greatly burdened for 1279 Taco Bell, and God has continued this burden. At the Sunday night presentation, I was able to talk to a family of someone who Luke and I work with, and invite them to church. I just hope that they come. I want to earnestly entreat the LORD for the hearts and souls of the people I work with. I would love for Taco Bell to have to shut down on Sundays because of church! LOL…I don’t think that will happen, but the idea is great in theory! Seriously, though as I realized that I’ve found my place in Canton, OH as an ambassador for Christ, I’ve seen another part of God’s vision for me. When I was about seven I felt God calling me to be a missionary, but then when I was 15, I felt God revealing to me that if I was to be a missionary (as in oversees) I would be a missionary’s wife. When I was making decisions regarding college, I did seriously consider going to college to be a doctor! I wanted to be a doctor so that I would be able to reach people, and be able to speak truth into their lives. However, I didn’t feel God calling me to the medical field definitely, so I just kept going as best as I knew how. Now, as I see that I’ve been called to be a missionary, Canton, OH 1279 Taco Bell is my mission field. Loving people and creating a relationship with them is my holy ambition. I want to have those people I work with enter into my reality. The reality of the Gospel and of Jesus’ Truth. After all, He is the WAY, the TRUTH and the LIFE!!!!
I am so excited about seeing God’s hand in my life. I’ve longed for this for so long, but I had to let Jesus put the clay on my eyes, and then I had to wash. I’m so excited because I have a vision again. It seems that God will send me a vision of whats to come for an unspecified amount of time, and as my understanding of HIS vision wears away I start to perish. But, that perishing is a good thing, for my flesh is dying. Ephesians 2:10 states “For you hath He quickened who were dead in trespasses and sins.” God allows me to dead in my sins and then He quickens me and heals my heart. Oh, may I live for HIS calling, and be committed to HIM!