If you haven’t read “Heart Struggles”, then you should! Okay, I know that I wrote it, but still…. No, seriously, this is why: I am at another point in my life that seems almost the same. Another point of surrender. Only this time, this struggle isn’t as emotionally charged as the one I wrote about in “Heart Struggles“. Its a battle of the mind, a chess game. I’m not a chess player, so I may be making an absurd analogy, but bear with me.
In chess, you must focus on how each piece can move an also try to figure out how your oponent is trying to get you in check all while trying to get them in check! Its an intense mind game. Life seems like that sometimes. Often, instead of worrying about acting according to God’s standards and trusting HIM for the outcome, I find that I try to “win at chess”! I act as I think is appropriate and try to do my best to stay out of trouble! I sometimes even go on the attack against other people. After all, winning is what counts, right?
I know the answer is wrong, but this chess game has become a way of life for dealing with certain people. I know that God is wanting to change that in me, but I admit to the rebellious attitudes of my heart. Again, your prayers are SO APPRECIATED. Pray that I will give up this chess game way of living, and learn to trust God to call the shots and make the moves!